Its hard to watch people you love go through hard times. its also hard to not know the reason WHY those things are happening. I have come to realize that I have some very tough/amazing/faithful/hopeful/optimistic/strong friends/family. Recently, two people who I am very close to, have lost a child. One far into her pregnancy, and the other at the beginning. I cant imagine how it would feel to have that happen. i remember my own excitement of being pregnant: decorating a nursery, picking out a name, purchasing clothes, feeling my sweet angel move inside my stomach, wondering what he would look like, and thinking about what kind of mommy I would be. i cant begin to imagine or comprehend the pain/sadness/depressions/doubt and heartache. How does someone move on from that?
Grieving is an individual experience. Each person handles their grief in their own way and on their own time. What I expected to see happen after these losses never did. Instead of bitterness, I have seen hope. Instead of resentment towards me and my situation, I have seen love towards my child. Instead of anger towards God, I have seen trust in Him. I have seen these two lovely ladies reach out to others, put on a brave face, laugh, go about daily life, and make plans for the future. I have seen gratitude.
I have been strengthened by their examples. My struggling faith has been renewed. My perspective on my own life has been changed. My gratitude for my life and my blessings has increased. And my love and respect for these women has multiplied.
Example: This past week I interview for a position in the Emergency Department at the local hospital. This is something I have been striving towards for a few years. I shared with them my excitement, and on the day of my interview I received good luck text messages letting me know I was being prayed for and loved. I received text messages afterwards asking how it had gone and how I was feeling. I am amazed by their support and love. These girls have been through Hell and back in the last few weeks, and yet during this difficult time, they have gone out of their way to show ME support for something as trivial as a job interview.
I hope that someday I can emulate their example. That I can become as genuinely good and faithful as they are. That maybe someday, someone can gain strength from my example during trials like I have from them.
Sunday, July 8, 2012
Wednesday, May 9, 2012
Blessings
I wrote this post on April 29, for some reason I forgot to publish it.
Today was Jacks blessing day. After lots of planning and work, the day turned out to be wonderful. Dressed in his daddy's blessing outfit, my little man look absolutely darling. Drew and I were both worried that he would scream through the blessing, but Jack did fantastic. He started to fuss at the end, but considering our sacrament meeting is right when his normal nap time is, I am shocked he was not more fussy. When Drew finished blessing him and sat down, the baby started to act up. I took Jack out in the foyer, and after just a few minutes I was able to to rock him to sleep. As I held my sleeping baby in my arms I thought back to his birth and realized how fast the last three and a half months have gone by. Today Jack was given a very special blessing by his father. Three and a half months ago, we were given the blessing of parenthood by our father in heaven, the greatest blessing we have ever received.
I am ashamed to admit that I dont spend as much time counting my blessings as I should. I often catch myself thinking and saying "when ______ happens then I will be happy" or "I cant wait till jack does ______". I am always so quick to forget that each day that I have my little baby and my wonderful husband is in itself a blessing.
I am blessed to have an AMAZING husband. He is going to school full time and working 40+ hours a week to provide for my and our son. His hard work allows me to work the minimum hours required for me to keep my nursing license. He is always kind and patient with me. He makes me feel beautiful, and tells me he loves me every day.
I am blessed to be a mother. I get to wake up to smiles and coo's. I will never get enough of his darling toothless grin, and I will never be able to kiss his chubby cheeks enough. I love that I get to spend most of my days playing with my son and watching him grow. Its an amazing feeling to be a mom.
The best advice I received at a baby shower was this "when you look back on your life you will never wish that you worked more, kept the house cleaner, or spent more time on leisure activities. You will wish you spent more time cherishing your child at every stage." This is the truth. I am so grateful for the days where I spent most of my time holding and playing with Jack.
Everyday that I spend with my husband and my son is a blessing. Every day is a blessing.
Today was Jacks blessing day. After lots of planning and work, the day turned out to be wonderful. Dressed in his daddy's blessing outfit, my little man look absolutely darling. Drew and I were both worried that he would scream through the blessing, but Jack did fantastic. He started to fuss at the end, but considering our sacrament meeting is right when his normal nap time is, I am shocked he was not more fussy. When Drew finished blessing him and sat down, the baby started to act up. I took Jack out in the foyer, and after just a few minutes I was able to to rock him to sleep. As I held my sleeping baby in my arms I thought back to his birth and realized how fast the last three and a half months have gone by. Today Jack was given a very special blessing by his father. Three and a half months ago, we were given the blessing of parenthood by our father in heaven, the greatest blessing we have ever received.
I am ashamed to admit that I dont spend as much time counting my blessings as I should. I often catch myself thinking and saying "when ______ happens then I will be happy" or "I cant wait till jack does ______". I am always so quick to forget that each day that I have my little baby and my wonderful husband is in itself a blessing.
I am blessed to have an AMAZING husband. He is going to school full time and working 40+ hours a week to provide for my and our son. His hard work allows me to work the minimum hours required for me to keep my nursing license. He is always kind and patient with me. He makes me feel beautiful, and tells me he loves me every day.
I am blessed to be a mother. I get to wake up to smiles and coo's. I will never get enough of his darling toothless grin, and I will never be able to kiss his chubby cheeks enough. I love that I get to spend most of my days playing with my son and watching him grow. Its an amazing feeling to be a mom.
The best advice I received at a baby shower was this "when you look back on your life you will never wish that you worked more, kept the house cleaner, or spent more time on leisure activities. You will wish you spent more time cherishing your child at every stage." This is the truth. I am so grateful for the days where I spent most of my time holding and playing with Jack.
Everyday that I spend with my husband and my son is a blessing. Every day is a blessing.
This Is Me Being a Proud Mamma
I love my son. Also I think he is the cutest thing to ever bless the planet. Im a bit prideful I admit, but I just love him so so so much. Here are his latest "tricks"
Jack can now sit in his bumbo, his head is still a little heavy for his body, but he does a really good job at holding it up.
He had rice cereal from a spoon for the first time, he loves it. He ate the entire bowl the first time he tried it. I will put up the video as soon as I can figure out how to upload things
He found his toes..... SO cute
He is now in 6-9 month clothes. He is getting to be such a CHUNK.
Now instead of waking up and crying, he wakes up and coo's and talks (sometimes he still cries when I dont hear him soon enough)
He smiles all of the time, it used to take some coaxing, but now its just his normal.
He can roll over. Tummy time is almost impossible because as soon as turn my back, he has rolled onto his
He also loves the TV. He didnt really notice it to much, but in this past week I have caught him completely fixated on it. So now we dont watch much TV during the day, he wont even play with his toys when its on.
I could brag about him for a long time. I am so amazed at how fast his little brain and body are developing. I was looking at pictures from when we were still at the hospital and I cant believe how much bigger he is. Part of me is sad to realize how fast he is growing, but its hard to be sad when watching him grow is so much fun. He has such a cute personality and I cant wait to see what kid of a person he turns out to be.
Jack can now sit in his bumbo, his head is still a little heavy for his body, but he does a really good job at holding it up.
He had rice cereal from a spoon for the first time, he loves it. He ate the entire bowl the first time he tried it. I will put up the video as soon as I can figure out how to upload things
He found his toes..... SO cute
He is now in 6-9 month clothes. He is getting to be such a CHUNK.
Now instead of waking up and crying, he wakes up and coo's and talks (sometimes he still cries when I dont hear him soon enough)
He smiles all of the time, it used to take some coaxing, but now its just his normal.
He can roll over. Tummy time is almost impossible because as soon as turn my back, he has rolled onto his
He also loves the TV. He didnt really notice it to much, but in this past week I have caught him completely fixated on it. So now we dont watch much TV during the day, he wont even play with his toys when its on.
I could brag about him for a long time. I am so amazed at how fast his little brain and body are developing. I was looking at pictures from when we were still at the hospital and I cant believe how much bigger he is. Part of me is sad to realize how fast he is growing, but its hard to be sad when watching him grow is so much fun. He has such a cute personality and I cant wait to see what kid of a person he turns out to be.
Friday, April 27, 2012
Whats For Dinner? How About Some Good Memories
What qualifies food as a "comfort food"? Taste? Fat content? Chocolate content? Or is it the memories associated with that particular food.
Tonight as I was eating my delicious chicken fajita (one of my very favorite dinners), I started to think about some memories associated with chicken fajitas. I had never had fajitas until I met Drew. The first time I met his family- which was only about 7 days after we started dating- we had Fajitas.
The first meal Drew cooked for me after we got married was Chicken fajitas- He surprised me with a warm dinner when I got home from work.
Also when we were first married, we had dinner with Carly and Mike at least twice a week. One night we would cook at our house the next at theirs. More often then naught, our go-to recipe was chicken fajitas. There were lots of jokes and laughter at those meals.
We had fajitas twice when we went to the cabin last year. That was the cabin trip that we picked up Benelli.
When I was pregnant, we had fajitas almost every week. It was the only thing that sounded good, besides for spaghetti.
This one is my favorite- The day we brought Jack home from the hospital, I sent Drew off to the store to get some food. Guess what we had for dinner the next night? Chicken Fajitas.
I know this probably sounds very silly, and corny, but I cant help but smile when I think about these memories. As weird as it is, chicken fajitas are one of my comfort foods. I love them, and I love the man who introduced me to them.
Chicken Fajitas:
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow or orange pepper
1 red pepper
1 medium yellow onion
1 packed fajita mix
cheese
tortillas
slice chicken into thin strips then set aside. Slice peppers into thin strips and cut onion into rings. Toss veggies into the frying pan with olive oil for 5ish minutes, then put into a bowl. Then cook the chicken till done in the same pan. Then follow the directions on the fajita packet. (dont you love my recipe writing skills?)
"The best memories are made when gathered around the table." :)
Tonight as I was eating my delicious chicken fajita (one of my very favorite dinners), I started to think about some memories associated with chicken fajitas. I had never had fajitas until I met Drew. The first time I met his family- which was only about 7 days after we started dating- we had Fajitas.
The first meal Drew cooked for me after we got married was Chicken fajitas- He surprised me with a warm dinner when I got home from work.
Also when we were first married, we had dinner with Carly and Mike at least twice a week. One night we would cook at our house the next at theirs. More often then naught, our go-to recipe was chicken fajitas. There were lots of jokes and laughter at those meals.
We had fajitas twice when we went to the cabin last year. That was the cabin trip that we picked up Benelli.
When I was pregnant, we had fajitas almost every week. It was the only thing that sounded good, besides for spaghetti.
This one is my favorite- The day we brought Jack home from the hospital, I sent Drew off to the store to get some food. Guess what we had for dinner the next night? Chicken Fajitas.
I know this probably sounds very silly, and corny, but I cant help but smile when I think about these memories. As weird as it is, chicken fajitas are one of my comfort foods. I love them, and I love the man who introduced me to them.
Chicken Fajitas:
2 boneless skinless chicken breasts
1 green bell pepper
1 yellow or orange pepper
1 red pepper
1 medium yellow onion
1 packed fajita mix
cheese
tortillas
slice chicken into thin strips then set aside. Slice peppers into thin strips and cut onion into rings. Toss veggies into the frying pan with olive oil for 5ish minutes, then put into a bowl. Then cook the chicken till done in the same pan. Then follow the directions on the fajita packet. (dont you love my recipe writing skills?)
"The best memories are made when gathered around the table." :)
Thursday, April 26, 2012
The Importance of Watching Your Children
Everyone knows its important to watch your kids right? Well, if you don't, here is a good reason.
Today I was playing with Jack in the front room and I heard my dog, Benelli, start barking like crazy. I went and looked out our back window and saw our little neighbor kid and his friend in the backyard playing with Benelli. The little boy is maybe one and a half, and the little friend is probably two or three. My first concern was rescuing them from my dog. Benelli is over 70 pounds, very playful and still a large puppy. She jumps up on me and can almost knock me over, and I worry about what she could do to those little kids.
I went out and put Benelli in her pen, and then I asked the little girl (no adults to be found anywhere) how she got into our yard. She then showed my how she pushed back the fence and they climbed over the dogs pet porter and came into the yard. I told them, very kindly, that they should probably go home. I walked them through the garage, but the little girl started running towards my other neighbors house. I kindly told her she needed to go home again, in the mean time thinking, "where the heck are your parents?"
I got them home, and right as we were walking to the front door, the babysitter came casually walking out and said "i wondered where they were." I told her I found them in my backyard with the dog, and expressed my concern that my dog could jump up on them and potentially hurt them. She didn't seem to worried and then said "yeah, I guess. I found my daughter in your yard yesterday too." SERIOUSLY???
I had no idea how long those kids had been in my yard, but she didn't really seem concerned that they were gone. I know this girl has her hands full, she has a daughter and is babysitting my neighbors three kids who are all under the age of four, but I think she needs to watch them more closely. We live in a relatively safe neighborhood, but we also live on a busy street and there seem to be no shortage of creeps in this world who take children. Her casual attitude and lack of concern really through me off. If I couldn't find my kids I would be frantically searching and very very concerned.
I called my husband and told him what happened and my concerns. If those were my children and I found out that my kids had "run off" and the babysitter didnt notice I would be very concerned. Also, this is not the first time I have seen them wander off or seen them playing in the front yard without adult supervision. We decided we should tell the parents. Its not that we mind having the kids playing with our dog or coming in our yard, we just dont want something happen to their kids. As a parent, if I had hired a babysitter to watch my kids I would want to know if something like this was happening with my kiddos too.
So here is the questions then, how do you express your concern to the neighbors parents without sounding rude or judgemental?
Today I was playing with Jack in the front room and I heard my dog, Benelli, start barking like crazy. I went and looked out our back window and saw our little neighbor kid and his friend in the backyard playing with Benelli. The little boy is maybe one and a half, and the little friend is probably two or three. My first concern was rescuing them from my dog. Benelli is over 70 pounds, very playful and still a large puppy. She jumps up on me and can almost knock me over, and I worry about what she could do to those little kids.
I went out and put Benelli in her pen, and then I asked the little girl (no adults to be found anywhere) how she got into our yard. She then showed my how she pushed back the fence and they climbed over the dogs pet porter and came into the yard. I told them, very kindly, that they should probably go home. I walked them through the garage, but the little girl started running towards my other neighbors house. I kindly told her she needed to go home again, in the mean time thinking, "where the heck are your parents?"
I got them home, and right as we were walking to the front door, the babysitter came casually walking out and said "i wondered where they were." I told her I found them in my backyard with the dog, and expressed my concern that my dog could jump up on them and potentially hurt them. She didn't seem to worried and then said "yeah, I guess. I found my daughter in your yard yesterday too." SERIOUSLY???
I had no idea how long those kids had been in my yard, but she didn't really seem concerned that they were gone. I know this girl has her hands full, she has a daughter and is babysitting my neighbors three kids who are all under the age of four, but I think she needs to watch them more closely. We live in a relatively safe neighborhood, but we also live on a busy street and there seem to be no shortage of creeps in this world who take children. Her casual attitude and lack of concern really through me off. If I couldn't find my kids I would be frantically searching and very very concerned.
I called my husband and told him what happened and my concerns. If those were my children and I found out that my kids had "run off" and the babysitter didnt notice I would be very concerned. Also, this is not the first time I have seen them wander off or seen them playing in the front yard without adult supervision. We decided we should tell the parents. Its not that we mind having the kids playing with our dog or coming in our yard, we just dont want something happen to their kids. As a parent, if I had hired a babysitter to watch my kids I would want to know if something like this was happening with my kiddos too.
So here is the questions then, how do you express your concern to the neighbors parents without sounding rude or judgemental?
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