Its hard to watch people you love go through hard times. its also hard to not know the reason WHY those things are happening. I have come to realize that I have some very tough/amazing/faithful/hopeful/optimistic/strong friends/family. Recently, two people who I am very close to, have lost a child. One far into her pregnancy, and the other at the beginning. I cant imagine how it would feel to have that happen. i remember my own excitement of being pregnant: decorating a nursery, picking out a name, purchasing clothes, feeling my sweet angel move inside my stomach, wondering what he would look like, and thinking about what kind of mommy I would be. i cant begin to imagine or comprehend the pain/sadness/depressions/doubt and heartache. How does someone move on from that?
Grieving is an individual experience. Each person handles their grief in their own way and on their own time. What I expected to see happen after these losses never did. Instead of bitterness, I have seen hope. Instead of resentment towards me and my situation, I have seen love towards my child. Instead of anger towards God, I have seen trust in Him. I have seen these two lovely ladies reach out to others, put on a brave face, laugh, go about daily life, and make plans for the future. I have seen gratitude.
I have been strengthened by their examples. My struggling faith has been renewed. My perspective on my own life has been changed. My gratitude for my life and my blessings has increased. And my love and respect for these women has multiplied.
Example: This past week I interview for a position in the Emergency Department at the local hospital. This is something I have been striving towards for a few years. I shared with them my excitement, and on the day of my interview I received good luck text messages letting me know I was being prayed for and loved. I received text messages afterwards asking how it had gone and how I was feeling. I am amazed by their support and love. These girls have been through Hell and back in the last few weeks, and yet during this difficult time, they have gone out of their way to show ME support for something as trivial as a job interview.
I hope that someday I can emulate their example. That I can become as genuinely good and faithful as they are. That maybe someday, someone can gain strength from my example during trials like I have from them.
